Father of the Bride

He is often the chap who has the privilege/agony of paying for the whole day, and often wishes that he could pay someone else to do his speech for him. In fact, in some circles, it is considered vulgar for the FOTB to speak at his daughter’s wedding and the task is delegated to a senior male friend of the family. If you can afford to have us write your speech, you may indeed be moving in those circles.

Anyway, this is usually the first speech of the day. No pressure then.

The speech has to be a fine blend of affection for the daughter, warmth to the groom and welcoming benevolence to the guests.

The FOTB (or his nominee) should finish by proposing a toast to the Bride and Groom.

Bridegroom

Grooms usually have a few things on their mind. Effective preparation for making a speech is not one of them. However, there is no way that they can escape this one. The only comfort we can give is the fact that he is under the least pressure to be funny. Mind you, if he is, everyone will be delighted.

The orthodox Groom’s speech consists of an unending list of gratefully obsequious platitudes. This is an excellent way of boring the audience.

Obviously, there are several people who should be thanked. But to be really successful, the groom’s speech must combine gratitude with brevity and entertainment.

The speech should finish by expressing thanks for the previous toast, and the very last words should be a toast to the bridesmaids.

The Best Man

A Best Man should be terrified. Everybody will be looking forward to his speech. He is expected to be the cabaret turn after all the boring bits are finished. He will have had months to prepare – so he had better be funny.

Of course, most BM’s speeches go down like a broken lift. Even confident Best Men choose material that is only funny to them and an inner clique of close mates.

Well, a smutty sequence of single entendres which are designed for the sole purpose of embarrassing the groom are not what the audience want to hear.

The key to success is clever use of the information that is available. Have a look at our list of questions. They will give you a good idea of the amount of work that needs to be done.

Many books on speaking advise inexperienced speakers not to try being funny unless it comes naturally.

Here is the bad news: if you are the Best Man, you have got to be funny.

The Best Man has to spend several weeks considering the information he has researched. He then needs to turn it into a precisely worded script.

This is a painful and unpleasant process – unless you engage professional help.

Or perhaps you would prefer to just bluff it through on the day……..

The speech should conclude by thanking the Groom on behalf of the bridesmaids.

It is totally wrong for the Best Man to then propose another toast, as there is no-one else available to make a reply. The Best Man rounds everything off. There shouldn’t be a dry seat in the house.